Submitted by Anonymous on Fri, 12/04/1998 - 03:29 Forums: LML Archive From: William T Bartlett <wtbart [at] olympus.net> Subject: Fw: AVIATION WISDOM Date: Thu, 3 Dec 1998 19:29:01 -0800 To: Ston Klippert <stan [at] olypen.com>, Paul Messinger <paulm [at] tenforward.com>, <lancair.list [at] olsusa.com>, John Ammeter <ammeterj [at] seanet.com>, Don Pridham <dpridham [at] olympus.net>, Carl Cleveland <ccleve [at] tenforward.com>, Bill "Badwater" Philips <billphil [at] ix.netcom.com>, Allen VanNess <skipv [at] olympus.net> <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<--->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> << Lancair Builders' Mail List >> <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<--->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> >> >Truly superior pilots are those who use their superior judgment to avoid >those situations where they might have to use their superior skills. > >Rule one: No matter what else happens, fly the airplane. Forget all that >stuff about thrust and drag, lift and gravity; an airplane flies because of >money. It's better to be down here wishing you were up there, than up there >wishing you were down here. An airplane will probably fly a little bit over >gross but it sure won't fly without fuel. > >Think ahead of your airplane. I'd rather be lucky than good. > >The propeller is just a big fan in the front of the plane to keep the pilot >cool. Want proof? Make it stop; then watch the pilot break out into a sweat. > >If you're ever faced with a forced landing at night, turn on the landing >lights to see the landing area. If you don't like what you see, turn 'em >back off. > >A check ride ought to be like a skirt, short enough to be interesting but >still be long enough to cover everything. > >Speed is life, altitude is life insurance. No one has ever collided with >the sky. > >Always remember you fly an airplane with your head, not your hands. Never >let an airplane take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes >earlier. > >Don't drop the aircraft in order to fly the microphone. An airplane flies >because of a principle discovered by Bernoulli, not Marconi. Cessna pilots >are always found in the wreckage with their hand around the microphone. > >If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger, if you pull the stick >back they get smaller. > >Hovering is for pilots who love to fly but have no place to go. > >The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire. > >Flying is the second greatest thrill known to man.... Landing is the first! > >Every one already knows the definition of a 'good' landing is one from >which you can walk away. But very few know the definition of a 'great >landing.' It's one after which you can use the airplane another time. > >The probability of survival is equal to the angle of arrival. > >IFR: I Follow Roads. > >You know you've landed with the wheels up when it takes full power to taxi. > >I had a fighter pilot's breakfast - two aspirin, a cup of coffee and a puke. > >Those who hoot with the owls by night, should not fly with the eagles by day. > >A smooth touchdown in a simulator is as exciting as kissing your sister. > >A helicopter is a collection of rotating parts going round and round and >reciprocating parts going up and down - all of them trying to become random >in motion. > >Helicopters can't really fly - they're just so ugly that the earth >immediately repels them. > >Young man, was that a landing or were we shot down? > >Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all >of them yourself. > >Pilots believe in clean living. They never drink whiskey from a dirty >glass. Things which do you no good in aviation: Altitude above you. Runway >behind you. Fuel in the truck. A navigator. Half a second ago. Approach >plates in the car. The airspeed you don't have. > >If God meant man to fly, He'd have given him more money. > >What's the difference between God and pilots? God doesn't think he's a pilot. > >Flying is not dangerous; crashing is dangerous. > >Flying is the perfect vocation for a man who wants to feel like a boy, but >not for one who still is. > >There are four ways to fly: the right way, the wrong way, the company way >and the captain's way. Only one counts. > >A good simulator check ride is like successful surgery on a cadaver. > >Asking what a pilot thinks about the FAA is like asking a fireplug what it >thinks about dogs. > >Trust your captain .... but keep your seat belt securely fastened. > >An airplane may disappoint a good pilot, but it won't surprise him. > >Any pilot who relies on a terminal forecast can be sold the Brooklyn >Bridge. If he relies on winds-aloft reports he can be sold Niagara Falls. > >The friendliest stewardesses are those on the trip home. > >Good judgment comes from experience and experience comes from bad judgment. > >Being an airline pilot would be great if you didn't have to go on all those >trips. > >Aviation is not so much a profession as it is a disease. > >The nicer an airplane looks, the better it flies. > >Why did God invent women when airplanes were so much fun? > >Remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous? > >It's always cheaper to rent than to buy. Renting airplanes is like renting >sex: It's difficult to arrange on short notice on Saturday, the fun things >always cost more, and someone's always looking at their watch. > >There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing: Unfortunately, no >one knows what they are. > >It's a good landing if you can still get the doors open. > >Passengers prefer old captains and young stewardesses. > >The only thing worse than a captain who never flew as copilot is a copilot >who once was a captain. > >Be nice to your first officer, he may be your captain at your next airline. > >Any pilot who does not privately consider himself the best in the game is >in the wrong game. > >It's best to keep the pointed end going forward as much as possible. > >If God had intended man to fly he would have given him enough money for a >Bonanza. > >If an earthquake suddenly opened a fissure in a runway that caused an >accident, the NTSB would find a way to blame it on pilot error. > >Any attempt to stretch fuel is guaranteed to increase headwind. > >A thunderstorm is never as bad on the inside as it appears on the outside. >It's worse. > >Son, I was flying airplanes for a living when you were still in liquid form. > >"Let's make a 360 and get the hell out of here!?!" > >It's easy to make a small fortune in aviation. You start with a large fortune. > >A male pilot is a confused soul who talks about women when he's flying, and >about flying when he's with a woman. > >A fool and his money are soon flying more airplane than he can handle. > >A thunderstorm is nature's way of saying, "Up yours." > >Learning a little about flying is like leading a tiger by the tail -- the >end does not justify his means. > >The last thing every pilot does before leaving the aircraft after making a >gear up landing is to put the gear selection lever in the 'down' position. > >Remember, you're always a student in an airplane. Keep looking around; >there's always something you've missed. > >Try to keep the number of your landings equal to the number of your >takeoffs. Takeoff's are optional. Landings are mandatory. > >You cannot propel yourself forward by patting yourself on the back. > > >