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>Truly superior pilots are those who use their superior judgment to avoid

>those situations where they might have to use their superior skills.

>

>Rule one: No matter what else happens, fly the airplane. Forget all that

>stuff about thrust and drag, lift and gravity; an airplane flies because of

>money. It's better to be down here wishing you were up there, than up there

>wishing you were down here. An airplane will probably fly a little bit over

>gross but it sure won't fly without fuel.

>

>Think ahead of your airplane. I'd rather be lucky than good.

>

>The propeller is just a big fan in the front of the plane to keep the pilot

>cool. Want proof? Make it stop; then watch the pilot break out into a sweat.

>

>If you're ever faced with a forced landing at night, turn on the landing

>lights to see the landing area. If you don't like what you see, turn 'em

>back off.

>

>A check ride ought to be like a skirt, short enough to be interesting but

>still be long enough to cover everything.

>

>Speed is life, altitude is life insurance.  No one has ever collided with

>the sky.

>

>Always remember you fly an airplane with your head, not your hands.  Never

>let an airplane take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes

>earlier.

>

>Don't drop the aircraft in order to fly the microphone.  An airplane flies

>because of a principle discovered by Bernoulli, not Marconi.  Cessna pilots

>are always found in the wreckage with their hand around the microphone.

>

>If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger, if you pull the stick

>back they get smaller.

>

>Hovering is for pilots who love to fly but have no place to go.

>

>The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

>

>Flying is the second greatest thrill known to man.... Landing is the first!

>

>Every one already knows the definition of a 'good' landing is one from

>which you can walk away.  But very few know the definition of a 'great

>landing.' It's one after which you can use the airplane another time.

>

>The probability of survival is equal to the angle of arrival.

>

>IFR: I Follow Roads.

>

>You know you've landed with the wheels up when it takes full power to taxi.

>

>I had a fighter pilot's breakfast - two aspirin, a cup of coffee and a puke.

>

>Those who hoot with the owls by night, should not fly with the eagles by day.

>

>A smooth touchdown in a simulator is as exciting as kissing your sister.

>

>A helicopter is a collection of rotating parts going round and round and

>reciprocating parts going up and down - all of them trying to become random

>in motion.

>

>Helicopters can't really fly - they're just so ugly that the earth

>immediately repels them.

>

>Young man, was that a landing or were we shot down?

>

>Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all

>of them yourself.

>

>Pilots believe in clean living. They never drink whiskey from a dirty

>glass. Things which do you no good in aviation: Altitude above you. Runway

>behind you. Fuel in the truck. A navigator. Half a second ago. Approach

>plates in the car. The airspeed you don't have.

>

>If God meant man to fly, He'd have given him more money.

>

>What's the difference between God and pilots? God doesn't think he's a pilot.

>

>Flying is not dangerous; crashing is dangerous.

>

>Flying is the perfect vocation for a man who wants to feel like a boy, but

>not for one who still is.

>

>There are four ways to fly:  the right way, the wrong way, the company way

>and the captain's way.  Only one counts.

>

>A good simulator check ride is like successful surgery on a cadaver.

>

>Asking what a pilot thinks about the FAA is like asking a fireplug what it

>thinks about dogs.

>

>Trust your captain .... but keep your seat belt securely fastened.

>

>An airplane may disappoint a good pilot, but it won't surprise him.

>

>Any pilot who relies on a terminal forecast can be sold the Brooklyn

>Bridge. If he relies on winds-aloft reports he can be sold Niagara Falls.

>

>The friendliest stewardesses are those on the trip home.

>

>Good judgment comes from experience and experience comes from bad judgment.

>

>Being an airline pilot would be great if you didn't have to go on all those

>trips.

>

>Aviation is not so much a profession as it is a disease.

>

>The nicer an airplane looks, the better it flies.

>

>Why did God invent women when airplanes were so much fun?

>

>Remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous?

>

>It's always cheaper to rent than to buy. Renting airplanes is like renting

>sex: It's difficult to arrange on short notice on Saturday, the fun things

>always cost more, and someone's always looking at their watch.

>

>There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing: Unfortunately, no

>one knows what they are.

>

>It's a good landing if you can still get the doors open.

>

>Passengers prefer old captains and young stewardesses.

>

>The only thing worse than a captain who never flew as copilot is a copilot

>who once was a captain.

>

>Be nice to your first officer, he may be your captain at your next airline.

>

>Any pilot who does not privately consider himself the best in the game is

>in the wrong game.

>

>It's best to keep the pointed end going forward as much as possible.

>

>If God had intended man to fly he would have given him enough money for a

>Bonanza.

>

>If an earthquake suddenly opened a fissure in a runway that caused an

>accident, the NTSB would find a way to blame it on pilot error.

>

>Any attempt to stretch fuel is guaranteed to increase headwind.

>

>A thunderstorm is never as bad on the inside as it appears on the outside.

>It's worse.

>

>Son, I was flying airplanes for a living when you were still in liquid form.

>

>"Let's make a 360 and get the hell out of here!?!"

>

>It's easy to make a small fortune in aviation. You start with a large fortune.

>

>A male pilot is a confused soul who talks about women when he's flying, and

>about flying when he's with a woman.

>

>A fool and his money are soon flying more airplane than he can handle.

>

>A thunderstorm is nature's way of saying, "Up yours."

>

>Learning a little about flying is like leading a tiger by the tail -- the

>end does not justify his means.

>

>The last thing every pilot does before leaving the aircraft after making a

>gear up landing is to put the gear selection lever in the 'down' position.

>

>Remember, you're always a student in an airplane.  Keep looking around;

>there's always something you've missed.

>

>Try to keep the number of your landings equal to the number of your

>takeoffs. Takeoff's are optional. Landings are mandatory.

>

>You cannot propel yourself forward by patting yourself on the back.

>

>

>